Not Lucky but Blessed.

I'm not unlucky or lucky. I'm blessed. I am learning that all things are given to me by God. It's His will I am where I am. 

I can look back get caught in negatives and the why's. And trust me there have been a lot. But I am blessed. 

When I look back I can see his reasoning for every heartache, blunder, joy, trial, person (either entering or exiting) in my life. 

God gave me a man whose strengths are very much my weaknesses. We are on opposite sides in dealing with personality traits but share the same corny, fun/loving, crazy humor. We test each other to our limits but love unconditionally. We recently did a small group called Love and Respect. A Christian focus on relationships and marriage. It opened our eyes to each other. It drew emphasis to our differences and held a clear understanding for us. It's ok to be imperfect. Marriage isn't easy or as easy as Facebook makes it look.  Thats not realistic. I am so happy God gave me someone who is growing with me. He takes me for me, in all of my fine sofisticated glory 😜

Another blessing? My Adelyn. This girl. She is the first to call me Mommy. She was a gift sent from heaven. A tough pregnancy that beat the odds. If only then I knew how much she would challenge me. She is smart. Quirky. Funny. Stubborn. Strong. But under that surface is a little girl who wants to please and love. She coined the phrase "A kiss and a hug". Although we have stopped her from kissing people (lol) she still loves hugs. She will grill me so I have to be prepared. Before I speak, all ducks have to be in a row. If one duck is misplaced she will find it and hit me with questions until I'm at a loss for words. She is next to impossible to outsmart and she won't let you slip by with anything. She is strong willed and keeps me on my toes. I love her spunk her kisses and hugs. I love her none stop questions and her ability to read any situation. I just love her. 

And then there is Aubrey. Aka Little Mess. She has that name for various reasons. She is messy, hilarious, dangerous, strong, and tough. Living outside would be ok with her. But with me she is cuddly, lovable, and has a calming affect. She is my serenity on many days. I say with me because there are few she calms down to snuggle with. I get Aubrey. She reminds me so much of me. Her heart, her smile, her innocence about life. She is outspoken and mixes up words to make her sentences have you doubled over in laughter. "Aubrey what are you doing?" "I not doing something". Or. "Aubrey, color on the paper. "I are, mommy. I are." She has a heart of gold and would sacrifice the last of anything to give to someone else.  She will go without if someone else wants what she has. She is uncomfortable when seeing others in pain, and can easily have her feelings hurt. She is truly a sunshine.

I am so happy that amoung out trials I have been blessed with my little family to share it with. So who are your blessings? 

Faith. Defining. My God.

Many people say there is a "defining" moment in which you allow God to take the reigns. Mine was at 17. Now I wondered, I sinned, but at the end of the day my heart was his. 

But things happen in life and He knows you need him. 

2 years ago I started a journey and was confirmed in the Catholic Church. I remember the priest saying we were "warriors of God". But considering Ben isn't Catholic WE never felt completely at "home". Since coming down 5 years ago our "home" church just wasn't there. We attended many and didn't really feel a "this is it" moment. We went to Church of the King sparatically in 2010-2012 I ran into a childhood-high school friend there and spoke with excitement and was embarrassingly ignored me. Like that awkward ignore, I was shocked. The church was big and overwhelming and I told Ben, if people acted like this, this isn't my home. We never went back.....

In July of this year I was sitting at a soccer camp for Adelyn and met a wonderful person. She and I chatted about life for a couple of days. She invited me back to the church. I told her it was overwhelming and she told me about a small group she was part off and invited us. 

We went back. And haven't left. We found a wonderful group of people just like us. They admit faults, they admit fears, but love God. A wonderful group we both feel comfortable with. 

My point. 

One person cannot dictate Christianity. But many times the "voice" of Christians may rest on one persons words. Not all were mad over the "red cup" and drink coffee from Starbucks, not all are hypocrites, and not all are are judgmental. Most are actually forgiving, loving, and understand we all fall short at times. We follow in the light of God and recognize we are sinners too. 

Social media and our country has attacked Christians, because a few "Christians" may have attacked them. They feel threatened by Christianity. But biblically Christians have ALWAYs been under attack. 

I remember I was at a Fraturnity function in College and was dressed in my formal dress. I hopped in an elevator with a mother and daughter. I mentioned the little girls dress was beautiful, the little girl looked down smiled and as she began to speak the mother covered her mouth and told her not to speak to a woman bathed in sin. She looked at me and said "filthy sinner" as she walked out the door. 

Wow. Powerful. But I knew we all sinned, we are all "dirty" until cleansed by God. He died for our sins so they could be forgiven. She was a sinner as well and no different from me. 

But had she said that do a different person who was a different ethnicity then it may be said "That Christian is racial"

Or a person of a different lifestyle

"That Christian is hateful"

Or a non-believer/a Christian on the fence.

"That Christian is judgmental"

There are so many ways that comment could have been interpreted depending on who the listener was. She was of a certain type of religion who has a very "fear God" rath as i will call it. But I feel God is loving and forgiving. I don't fear him, but love him. But, that's HER faith, not mine. 

The only person who can define perfection is GOD. Not me, you, a church, or anyone else. It is not my job to judge you or hate you.  I am not a "professional bible reader", I am learning and I go to class every Sunday and Monday to hear what God has to teach me. 

No Christian is perfect. Not one is perfect. I have my faith, it's not yours it's mine. It's not mine to push on you, it's not mine, to make you, feel like I do. BUT I can share it if you want and I like too. 

Little miracles are happening in our life. Now if only we can get LSU and Saints to win that would be great (just kidding)

Addi got in, last minute, to this soccer camp. God put this person next to me and gave me a nosy mind to ask her what she was listening to. He knew exactly what we needed in more ways then one. He knew our bottoms needed to be there. He knew the years of hardships we have had, and WE needed to be redefined. After going through what he and I went through if would have torn anyone apart the last 5 years have been tough, But by allowing God to work his blessings, he brought us right where we needed to be at a time we needed to be there. 

And for that we are thankful. Thank you to our new church family but thank you God.